Dear my blog...

Thank God, I could spend my Christmas day with my family from Jayapura. I was so happy to spend my Christmas time with my mum, my dad, and my brother. I love them... a lot....

Well, the happiest thing that I always get in my Christmas time is that being with my family. I am so glad to see and being together again in Manado. I have been waiting this for such a long time, and all that I feel is that I MISS THEM SO MUCH. I miss my mum, my dad, especially my brother. And really thank God that He’s given me much time to be with them again on Christmas day.

I am a family girl. For me, family is the most important thing. I love my family, I love them a lot. They are always there when I feel bad about my self, and always try to understand me. They don’t even need to try to understand me, because they do really understand me a lot.

Spending all my time with them, just make me feel so different. I feel like I find my self again, and I feel like I finally find who I really am with them. I always can be who I am in front of them, without being worried about thinking that they will like me or not, because I know that they love me, and they will always love me for who I really am. I just don’t need to think too much about what I should do, what I should say or what I should wear in front of them. I just can do everything I want, I can say everything that I should say, and I’m not afraid about my look, or about everything I wear.

It is like a different world, with a different me. Here with my family, I find who I really am, and I get my confidence again. I get all my spirit again, and I feel like I am motivated again to be the real me. They all believe in me although it’s so hard for me to believe in my self. They all say that I am a brilliant girl, and really... with them all, I can prove to the world and to my self that I am really a brilliant girl, if I just can be who I really am.

But, living here without them all is so difficult. They are all here only for Christmas day, and then they are going to back to Jayapura, and I will be missing them again, and I will lose my self again. I don’t know what I should do without them all here. I’m gonna miss them all.

Right now, I have to learn to find my self without my family. I need to find my self again, and be who I really am again. But I am just so afraid about what other people would think about me. Well, it really sounds like I’m losing my confidence again.

I don’t know what I should do, but I know that I have to believe in my self, because it’s the only way.

At the time like this, I think I need to listen to Demi Lovato song, THIS IS ME. The song means so much to me...

“no more hiding who I wanna be... this is me...”

Well, yeah... I have to be who I wanna be.... and I have to believe in me....

I wish everything’s gonna be alright here... and I pray for it...

^^

Lots of LOVE...

sweetester14